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This is Woman's Lib?

by Marcelyn

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1.
Better 02:48
She puts him on a shelf In the back of her mind and in the same breath She tells me that she’s fine But I know her better… Better than that. She counts down all the days Till she’ll see him again. She crosses out his flaws With a ballpoint pen Though she knows better… Better than that. Cause she knows him better… Better than that. And they could be better… Or maybe they can’t.
2.
Fingertips trace his veins. Spider webs of blue road maps lie in his skin. No turning back. He’s pacing the floors of his tiny apartment. He wishes his windows were taller so that he could Fall in a bed made of clouds and forgotten dreams. But you don’t know Who you are yet, honey. You don’t know who you are… Break every promise You made to yourself about who you would be. Burn the road maps inside of your skin. Then, honey, Maybe someday you will figure out who you are.
3.
#1 Babe 01:08
Hanging out with the spider webs in the corner. Pretend no one can see me. First time out in weeks and you can tell. What the f*ck is wrong with me? What’s wrong with me? I’m not alright, I’m not alright. #1 babe tonight. I’m not alright, I’m not alright. Smells like lavender and anxiety. Everyone wants to talk to me. If I stand real still maybe I’ll disappear And then no one will see What’s wrong with me. I’m not alright, I’m not alright. #1 babe tonight. I’m not alright, I’m not alright.
4.
You feel sorry for everything Except what I want you to feel sorry for. You’re just a metaphor, A played out cliché everyone’s heard before. Maybe this time I got it right. Maybe this time, Though I doubt it. I don’t want to talk any more, But you won’t hear me So I’ll just close the door. I’m constantly waiting for you to explode And break me down even more. But I’m feeling way too sore To hold your hand, To make you feel safe and warm. Maybe this time I got it right. Maybe this time, Though I doubt it. But I’ll walk across the floor, Unafraid of your eggshell uniform. I’m not sure what you really want, But I’m sure it can’t be me. Here I am, down on my knees, Begging you to leave, begging you to see. You could apologize everyday, But I don’t think I’d believe. Here I am, down on my knees, Begging you to leave, begging you to see me. I don’t want to talk any more. There’s the door.
5.
Alone. 04:00
The moment every night the sky turns black Is the only time of day I give to you And still every morning I wish for that moment back Because the rest of my night turns deep blue. You thumb through my mind like a library book. Your sticky fingers leave rips And tears down my spine. You bend me open, flip my pages. Everyone wants to look And by the end you’ve erased Every word, every line. Then you say you’re so sorry That I’m so lonely. Do you even know me? I’d be there if you’d only let me. But I’m alone, I’m alone, I’m alone…
6.
My jealous heart feels full tonight. I feel like the beast of the ball tonight. I feel my skin crawling and melting off my bones. Birds of a feather, we flew along Till your wings grew fuller and then you were gone. But I’m no canary, I sing my own songs. And they say you’re your own worst critic, But you might be worse. I could never cut myself this deep. And they say life will break you down, Unless you do it first. Jerusalem, come find me. Spare me this monstrosity. A wordsmith, a poet, you speak in tongues As your silver voice fills up my lungs. I feel my skin growing more callous every day. You’re living the dream like a crystal ball. I’m here, praying just to escape it all And my jealous heart feels so full tonight. And they say you’re your own worst critic, But you might be worse. I could never cut myself this deep. And they say life will break you down, Unless you do it first. Jerusalem, come find me. Spare me this monstrosity. Tongues made of poison, infecting my inner ear. They say my voice is golden, But silver’s more in this year. And they say you’re your own worst critic, But you might be worse. I could never cut myself this deep. And they say life will break you down, Unless you do it first. Jerusalem, come find me. Spare me this monstrosity.
7.
Dreamy 03:58
Always running late or running out of time. Threatening you’ll leave. I think that you just might. Go on, drink your drinks. Pretend that I’m not here. That’s ok. I can wait another year… Always runner up. I never come in first. If that’s how you play this game, I say do your worst. Girl, I’m coming for ya. Better clutch those pearls. Pray I don’t catch up. I’ll see your world unfurled. Go on, drink your drinks, Pretend that I’m not here. That’s ok. You’ll be sorry when you see me next year… A girl can dream, can’t she?
8.
roll 1d6 x4 if even = "funny" if odd = "not funny"
9.
Here I am again. 2 in the morning. Losing sleep on you again and you’ll never know. You probably think this song’s about you. Don’t you? You probably think that we are fine. And here I am again. I’m still in mourning. I’m mad at you again. Maybe you know. You probably think you’re living smart now. Don’t you? You probably think you’re doing fine. You’ll probably like this chord progression. It sounds like every song you never wrote. I bet you think I’m living large now. I bet you’re hoping that I’ll choke. Here I am again. 2 in the morning. Losing sleep on you again and you’ll never know. You probably don’t remember much now. Do you? You probably think that you’re still mine. Here I am again, thinking about when I was Barely cheating death, awake at 2 AM. Drinking Just to block it out, keep me from giving in. Devil on my shoulder, demons in my head. I felt as if there couldn’t possibly be a way out. I wish someone could’ve talked to me, Just to say how it took a lot for me to Break out of the cycle we were in. This one’s for the old me. I hope we never meet again. You’ll probably like this chord progression. It sounds like every song you never wrote. I bet you think I’m living large now. I bet you’re hoping that I’ll choke. Here I am again...
10.
Bluebird 04:00
Bluebird, sing you song. Sing it sweet and long. If I close my eyes will I feel better? If I close my eyes, Will I wake up in a time When I finally feel fine? Bluebird, sing you song. Sing it sweet and long.
11.
I don’t know if you noticed, But I can’t stop thinking about Punching you right in the mouth. I don’t know if you know this, But I really hate the way you Talk so f*cking loud. Can’t hear my thoughts whenever you come around And I don’t know how you haven’t noticed How much I want to punch you in the mouth. I want to see it all come crumbling down. I want to smash you right into the ground. How bout you meet me in the scrapyard right now? Meet me in the scrapyard. Now. Push me down, tell me you’re so sorry, Pick me up just to push me down again. Ask me questions, pretend that you care, But you know I know we were never friends. Can’t feel my face whenever you play pretend And I can guarantee that you won’t come out on top In the end. I want to see it all come crumbling down. I want to smash you right into the ground. How bout you meet me in the scrapyard right now? Meet me in the scrapyard. Now.
12.
Painless 03:44
I walked to the place where all I know was changed, Stood in the water, and skipped rocks in your name. I tore out all the pages filled with broken refrains, Pieced them all together, and set them aflame. Now in my chest you’ll find no pain… I thought I needed you more Than I needed to breathe. I wanted so badly just to be seen, But you closed your eyes And turned your back to me, While you weren’t looking I decided to leave, But I took a small piece of you with me… If I called you up tonight And begged you to tell me why Would you be honest for one moment of your life? And you never knew what it did to me When you yelled. Standing there shaking, I let you make me feel like hell. And I won’t apologize for anything I said Till you stop confusing me With the “me” in your head. I still can’t believe you’re the reason I’m writing this song. I still can’t believe that leaving you Took me this long. I hope that you’re sorry. I hope you forgive me. I hope that you’re angry. I hope you still love me. I hope I never think of you ever again. I walked to the place where all I know was changed, Stood in the water, and skipped rocks in your name. I tore out all the pages filled with broken refrains, Pieced them all together, and set them aflame. Now in my chest you’ll find no pain…
13.
Words fall from her lips like dynamite When it’s cold outside. And it’s cold outside. Tiny bombs light up the night sky. Fire burns so bright. And it feels alright. Take a hit and puff it out. Watch smoke dance from her mouth. Tiny dancer on the wind, invisible song And it goes like this… (It doesn’t stop.) Tell yourself your heart’s only cold When it’s cold outside. Soon you’ll be alright. You thaw with the flowers, But this year the flowers died And you know inside that… (It doesn’t stop.) Does it? No.
14.
Here 02:43
I don’t know what I’m doing here… But I think it’s where I want to be. Seasons came and passed away. I’m still here. I want to stay. I don’t know if this is where I’ll age, But I think I love it here When the leaves change. I don’t know what I’m doing here… But I think it’s where I want to be.
15.
Helena 02:34

credits

released August 8, 2019

Thank you: Sil Ervin, Detalks, Hector Lopez, Scott Homiak, Taylor Baum, Vania Velotta, Jenn Oliver, Ronnie and Frank Keegan, Jon and YW, Ben and Regina, Mom and Dad, Hugh and Eleanor

Marcelyn is:
Marcelyn Lebovitz (vocals, ukulele, production)
Mike Lebovitz (bass, production)

Assembled by Mike at Hygienic Studios (Portable), May 2018 – June 2019
Mixed and mastered by Christopher Fuller at Fuller Sounds Productions, May – July 2019

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Marcelyn Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Marcelyn is a multidisciplinary singer and artist whose creations are something both fragile and deadly with a heavy helping of kick ass. Marcelyn’s music serves up singer-songwriter-y indie rock weirdness on a silver platter with a side of powerful vocals and cleverly crafted lyrics. ... more

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